Chris Oyler: Go Toward the Light

This heartwarming and heartbreaking story is based on a real event and a real sad and senseless death of a little child, Ben Oyler. He was the first-born of the Oyler family and he was only 7 when he was diagnosed having AIDS because of a fatal mistake. Unfortunately he was a hemophiliac and he got a blood infusion, which was infected with AIDS.
We can read in these pages in what way could a deep religious, family-centred, solidary and young family cope with such a huge problem. When they have to face the AIDS, the young mother said Ben to write a list about the things and events which he wants to do by all means. Naturally the whole family help him to achive these aims. On the other hand here is Ben’s struggle with this fatal disease, which is a very heartbreaking and at the same time exemplary manner. He almost never cried and he was the person, who keeped the soul in his parents, not to mention about his brothers.
I also have to write about the relationship between Ben and his younger brother Beau, as he was as mature as he could realise what would happend with his ideal. They were not only best friends, but Ben was the big brother and Beau’s ideal. They were one and the same. There was a very strange situation when
Beau realizes that he was going to lose his big brother. There was a little argument when they played with their toys and when they stood up, the younger one realised that he was the stronger and the taller child in the family not Ben. „And for a split second they just stood there, looking at each other”.
And unfortunately this little boy had to fight his other battles. As when the school year started he didn’t had to go to the school as he was the anonymous little boy with AIDS. There were many anxious and egoists parents who looked only their and their children’s interests. Only the narrow family and a few friends help them surviving the hard days. And when they went to the playground none of the children wanted to play with such a pale, thin and almost lifeless little boy.
As Ben’s state worsen he had to spend more and more time in the hospital in a separated ward. Fortunately his mother and his father could be with him as much time as they could. And they tried everything to facilitate their first-born’s life what is more they also hope that doctors could develop some kinds of effective medicine against AIDS. When they hear about the Hickman catheter they discussed its use with Ben and he wanted to live with this. One day a volunteer, a Dutch boy entered in Ben’s room. His name is Jaap. Slowly but surely the would be very good friends. He was the person who sat next to Ben’s bed from afternoon till night, and he helped a lot the parents, too.
Finally I have to write a paragraph from this book in order to feel the whole athmosphere of this sad story: „There’s a word for a woman whose husband died: widow. Why, I wonder, isn’t there a term for a woman whose child has died? I supposed because you never stop being a mother … even when your child is gone. You carried that child, and you participated in the miracle of life when that child was born. And you know that all that energy and love cannot just vanish without a trace.”